I’ve decided to add a new section to the website called “The Wellspring”. The term comes from Proverbs 4:
20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man’s whole body.23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
My last post for After the One was on October 2, almost 3 weeks ago. I’ve had a lot going on with work, freelance work, and being sick for over a week. But those are all really poor excuses for not making God a priority in the last few weeks. So I am using this new portion of the site as a dedication to just writing things as they are on my heart. The posts won’t have the usual instructional tone, but I feel they will still be of value. A daily reminder to me and the reader to continue to put God first.
There are many levels of depth to a person’s heart. Many places to find hidden strengths. Many places to find evil and depression. Lately it seems that I have been lost at sea in the torrents of those places that are evil and depressing in my heart. I haven’t learned yet to rely on God during those times so maybe that explains the feeling of hopelessness that sometimes fills me. I still kick against the goads only to find myself angry at the pain that results. I know He will eventually help me out, but I am still stubborn.
But, as a young man who finds himself in the often tormenting transition from a “young adult” to plain ol’ “adult” I can only assume that experience and patience will have its perfect result. I will learn to guard my heart more consistently. When I feel the Devil laying siege to my soul I will more often enlist God’s strength as the initial reaction rather than rely on my own frail abilities and strengths.
Tonight my wife needed me to perform a duty as her Christian husband. It was time to arm myself and rely once again on the Lord so that I could address an issue we are facing in our family. I think the Lord knew it was a good time to say to me “Son, I know how you’ve felt these last few weeks, but it’s time for all of that to end. Return your heart to me and to my work.”
Yesterday I prayed that the Lord would help me control my mind and guard my heart. I asked him to rid me of the depression, hurt and anxiety that I have been feeling. He answered me tonight with “OK, I will, I just wanted you to ask”.
3 Comments
Matthew:
The writing you have been doing is a well thought out and serving a dual purpose. One of which is releasing the emotional struggles you apparently are dealing with. If there is any way that I can help you or Jenny, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to be of service.
In Christian Love,
Bruce Evans
Life is about facing struggles and enduring through them. Too often we are consumed in our own efforts to muddle through instead of realizing our strength comes from above. You have great insight for a young man and I am impressed that in all your efforts you always seem to have God’s best interest in your life as your foremost concern. I appreciate you and Jenny and if there is anything I can do, (other than my continued prayers on your behalf which you already have) please let me know. We are to be in service to encourage each other as is needed and I am here to help you in any way I can. In Christian Love – Linda M
Son, we are so proud of you both and are so encouraged that one so young in the faith can express the things that we all deal with as Christians in our our lives, no matter how old we are. We are also encouraged that you find Him as the answer and that is as it should be. Dealing with your struggles in such a public way cannot help but be a source of comfort and encouragement and learning for us all, as well as humbling.
We love you, Dad and Mom
(Matthew, I don’t know if this is revealing how slow I am at being who God wants me to be or if it is something that all of us will eventually realize. I’ve had the same voice coming to me at times, recently with a response, that is what He’s been waiting for and that is for me to understand and realize how totally helpless and lost I would be without Him. Perhaps that is just the goal that is there for all of us. It would be absolutely wonderful if we could all learn that a little earlier in our lives. It might have made the road a little less bumpy. I love you, Dad)
(I find this rather ironic as I have been struggling with the same thing recently
<3 Mom)